Design Tech High School

@Terri,

It must be tough to not have a spouse who is on the same wavelength as you when it comes to the big ticket items one encounters in life like a home purchase. My spouse and I generally speaking have technically separate accounts (kept from before when we were single) but we both contribute to expenses accordingly. I am more than willing to take care of most big ticket items like taxes etc and she takes care of the household stuff and my tummy. She has the added burden of helping her family back home and I knew about that going into the marriage. Fortunately, we both are fairly similar in our spending habits (we live fairly simply) but I know she has her ā€œmust havesā€ like expensive hair cuts, beauty supplies and the occasional clothing shopping but nothing major. It works for us. Even though I feel we have the money to buy more property she is the sound of reason that tempers that talk and I do appreciate it. Nothing wrong with holding some cash for a rainy day.

My only comment is that one should never think that their first home purchase will be the only and last one in their lifetime. Far from it. And if one thinks they can wait it out for their ideal neighborhood to come around again in terms of lower pricing that may simply not happen again. The fact remains that there are a lot of relatively rich people in this world and they are all looking for the same things and nice homes in nice areas are never going to be cheap again. Letā€™s use the example set by many posters on here. Probably most of us were not born with silver spoons. Our first home purchase was probably small but we were prudent enough to know that it was still worthwhile to buy and own vs renting or essentially just giving money away. Over time, we save what we could, we spruce up our small homes and hopefully we have built some equity over that time span that when we are ready for the next home we are in a better financial shape to to do it. I have a sibling who owns a condo instead and frankly missed out on the Bay Area SFH appreciation because it was always next year, next year she would do it. Well, when you are ready the market may have already passed you by.

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What is your current rent? Are you not able to find a home with rental parity in RWC?

I understand 5% down of FHA, it is not possible to get. You need minimum 10% down payment, but offer has to state 20% down payment (need proof of payment).

Thatā€™s a mental block many people have, including me 10 years ago. In fact buying rentals has nothing to do with buying a home. In fact if you can only do one, buying two $500K rentals is better financially than buying one $1M primary residence. The rental income will more than cover the rent paid for your home.

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The law is to protect both the parties (Husband and wife) in case of separation.

But practical day to day life each one has to share the exact load and exact earning which is not possible.

For example,

  1. husband earn $100k/year and wife earns $500k/year.
  2. husband earn $100k/year and wife is not earning, taking care of home.
  3. husband is not earning, taking care of home and wife earns $100k/year.

Law treats them equal sharing, but practically it is not.

Yes, I get that. Frankly our society is still deeply sexist, and being a dad of two girls that always depresses me. But we are heading to the right direction, one inch at a time.

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If the goal is to buy a house, make a planā€¦But hoping to buy in a market you cant afford wont get you to the goal.I bought houses and flipped before I could afford my own house. Another way is to partner upā€¦I had one friemd who was desperate to get on the band wagon.I told him lock up a good deal and peddle to investors, he did I put up the money, we tore down the house and built 2 housesā€¦He ran the job and got 25% of the profit and boight a houseā€¦There are ways to make money in REā€¦once you have the cash then you can buyā€¦But even 40 years most people couldnt afford what they wantedā€¦I bought my first house in Oaklnd even though I was working in San Mateoā€¦It takes work and sacrifice

Hey you donā€™t need to save money for the girls.

Sure I do. But one thing I wonā€™t do is pay for their weddings. I am Chinese damn it. Thatā€™s just not how we Chinese roll.

My future sons in law better already own houses before they knock my door. :punch:

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Uh, wrong, @manchā€¦chinese custom is the brideā€™s side of the family pays. Or, are you going to pull out your American card???:slight_smile:

My fabulous wedding at the St Francis Yacht Club (Crissy Field, SF) was paid by us. You should read my fabulous if I must say so review on Yelp. I get occasional comments or emails from brides to be stillā€¦

Not sure which part of China you came from. In HK grooms pay for everything. And thatā€™s the way it should be. :punch:

Uh, we aint in HK anymore Sirā€¦

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Thatā€™s the Cantonese custom. I recall some ethnic groups in China has similar custom like India. But youā€™re a Cantonese. Bridegroom pays.

[quote=ā€œJil, post:43, topic:714, full:trueā€]
What is your current rent? Are you not able to find a home with rental parity in RWC? [/quote]

Noā€¦ started renting in 2009, so rent is under market at 50-60% of mortgage now.

Agreed. I have tried recently to broach the subject again. I have told my husband I expect us to settle this issue at the next school transition when my eldest will go to high school (Fall 2018). Move can be anywhere in BA or US excepting hot and humid climates (ie Florida). Trying to give him time to think about it and have it sink in. Also, right now, the logical thing is to wait for the company to go public so that we have a downpayment without in-laws involved. That will definitely be a step forward in the house-buying process and will also put clarity on what we can afford. It will also mean that I only have to deal with him, not his parents, in the house buying process, and we will have to address head on any issues in our relationship that may have been muddled by their presence.

Brideā€™s side pays in America also unless the kids want to get the brideā€™s mom out of the picture and pay for it themselvesā€¦ Or elope.

Are the mid-Atlantic states like North Carolina and DC hot and humid? I spent a summer in DC years ago and had to take 3 showers everyday to beat the heat.

Well, Boston is hot and humid too, but only in the summers.

Now, I see your comfort on rent. This is exactly like my friend fed-up wth his home search fight when his rent is well below the market !

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Yeah, comfortable with the rent, but not with the property, but we are stuck where we are because the rent is affordable. If we got kicked out, weā€™d have to make hard decisions fast.

Why did the landlord keeps the rent so low? He likes you?

IMO,it is hard to get good tenant, maintaining home and paying rent properly. It is worth giving a discount after an year so that they continue to stay for long.

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Honestly, I donā€™t know. Itā€™s managed by a company, but the landlords are local. I donā€™t know if the company simply suggests 5% rent raises each year or if the landlords donā€™t like the fact that people are getting kicked out of RWC and donā€™t want to be that landlord. But I donā€™t ever assume that there wonā€™t be a significant hike.

I donā€™t know if they think weā€™re good tenants or not. We donā€™t ask for much, but weā€™re also not out there fixing some of the obvious problems like the peeling paint outside. They donā€™t talk to us, and seem to like it that way.

As per what Jil said, there is a property manager, so the landlord doesnā€™t have to deal with non-paying tenants, but we have always paid on time except the one time i forgot to put the rent increase in the billpayer and they got the old rent amount. So if they value that, then yeah, weā€™re good tenants. And weā€™re not doing drugs, and the police are not visiting our house, and the neighbors are not complaining about us. Out of sight, out of mind tenants.