Those are nice benefits for sure Jane!
@Jane That is great that your team members actually took the time offered. A lot of companies in theory offer great maternity/paternity packages but if you really take it your career mobility and/or income take a big hit.
I know many American families that take care of grandkids/grandparents in separate homes like @Terri said. My mother-in-law watches the grandkids that live near her and has an amazing relationship with them. My mom doesnāt mind occasional babysitting but isnāt up for watching them daily/weekly.
The new benefit was announced last year and so far 3 of my male co-workers took it.
My female co-workers havenāt had a chance to use it yet but I am sure they will take the full benefit.
In terms of impact on income, those are fully paid leave. Thus, you get your 100% salary.
In terms of mobility, I took 3 years of break when I had my first child and was able to come back to same industry.
I donāt think 6 months of maternity leave or 3 month of paternity leave would hurt your career much.
I think what matter is really the culture of company and team.
Although competition in SV is very intense and high, I am seeing improvement on work/life balance except a few companies.
Although I had to do extra work while my co-worker is taking parental leave, I didnāt mind it at all.
Often what hurts employees and demotivates them the most is ācreating hostile environments among team membersā. In that way, people spend most of their time in worrying and dealing with emotions (anger, frustration etc).
I believe those family-friendly culture will bring supportive culture into team instead of hostile one. Eventually, that will bring more benefit to company too not to mention attracting young talents.
Honestly, I think the people worrying about it most are female professors trying to get tenure. They live in a male-dominated world, getting tenure from those men, and worry that having kids will not be looked at favorably and that the men wonāt really respect that the clock is supposed to stop. I have yet to hear one female professor say otherwise.
In Software Engineering in the Bay Area, Iād be surprised if it was a big effect. Maybe it delays you moving up, but itās not like thereās a timer going and you fail, youāre OUT.
How does longer maternity leaves impart higher up managers? I remember hearing one female executive telling war stories of having conference calls when she was in labor. I donāt recall Marissa Mayer taking long leave.
But maternity leave is quite literally just the start.
In Hong Kong another big help to parents is live-in maids. Almost every middle class family has a live-in maid. These maids come from other lower cost countries like the Philippines and Indonesia, and they make less than minimum wage. I donāt know any one here with maids though. Anyone seriously look into that option?
Some of my coworkers in my last job have au-pairs. Idea is similar. These are women from low cost countries like China and Eastern Europe. Officially they come here to study, so they have to go to school part time I think.
I donāt believe au-pairs come to study. I donāt know what the Visa is though. Biggest problem for au-pairs is being worked more than is legal. None of the stories I heard involved studies. Generally involved being locked up 24/7 expected to care for the kids.
Lots of people having nannies. Whether the nannies cook and clean is a contract issue.
I have met several au-pairs at the park. Only 1 had reasonable work hours. The others did like Terri mentioned and worked many extra hours for free illegally.
How about companies use some of their profits to up salaries so families can afford child care rather than exploiting workers from impoverish countries.
Some would argue the salaries are high enough as it is. I think itās just the way things areāsome people abuse their workers. Itās even easier for people who are not from the country as they donāt know their rights 
Right, Iād argue that. A couple both working in tech can easily make 400k combined. Should be more than enough to pay for a full time nanny.
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Corporate profits are under 10%. Thatās not going to give people do big of raise. Also, they need a cushion for lean times.
It could very well be the case that a nanny is within reach of most families in the bay. But, then I would argue that soaring chid-care costs are not a problem.
I wonder why most tech families donāt hire nannies? Personally I donāt know anyone with one. On the other hand I know a few with au pairs.
Is there some sort of social stigma against hiring nannies?
Most families I know do daycare. I havenāt heard of a stigma but nannies arenāt cheap. The families I know with nannies pay $45k+/year including taxes, vacation, backup care for sick/vacation days. Daycare is definitely cheaper for families with one kid in preschool. Probably cheaper for those with 2.
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Nanny is quite expensive even for the couple with 400k combined income. However, the bigger problem is nanny option is not very reliable.
If you rely on one person, there would be multiple issues to deal with.
I preferred day care option over nanny option.
With day care, only issue is sick child. My previous company let employee use sick leave to take care of family members. My husband and i take turns to take care of sick child. We work from home or use PTO based on the situation. As a result, we canāt go on long vacation. Thatās something we decided to give up.
I am aware of at least two families with nannies who have one person in Tech and off the top of my head 4 other families with Nannies/babysitters who may or may not have someone in Tech.
Nannies are good when you want the kids to be home a fair amount of the time, need later babysitting (most daycares stop around 5 or 6pm), or have enough kids that it makes sense financially.
Daycare is good if you donāt want someone in your house, want the kids to get out and socialize or have school-age kids and just pick them all up at the same time.
If I went back to work, Iād do a nanny for the summer at least because the kids are homebodies. They would not do well being in camps all summer.
It sits not just having someone care for children. A nanny makes sense the first six to twelve months. After that socialization is important unless there are many children.
Sick/injured children change life immediately. Someone has to be the point person and this puts them in the position of taking time off. It depends on the parents individual views and company policies. I remember a staff member crying because she was staying home with a sick kid and her husband refused to change his day even by two hours so she could finish a project. We figured it out and I often wondered if their marriage survived.
Self employment worked for me. Working from home could be a joy or a horror. Working at home felt like I never left work.
Modern work where old traditions are gradually changing.
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Yeah. In this case a nanny is preferable since the kid is familiar with the adultāassuming the nanny does sick kids.
UGHā¦
Hired nannies??? Because techies are CHEAP and I know too many folks here who have the grandparents take care of the kids to save on the expense. That is why you need the inlaw units, remember? You can have the grandparents nearby to take care of them and vise versa.
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Nearly three decades ago a well off area in San Diego in āthe bestā school district had an influx of kindergarteners who had never held scissors or knew the name of colors in English. Basics. Two income families who bragged about their live in nannies that they paid nearly nothing in salary. Undocumented nannies with little knowledge of English put in charge of kids. School test scores plumented as the same nannies were in charge of homework and parent teacher conferences. Once the kids hit middle school the nannies were eliminated and the parents had no clue why their children were behind or considered problems.
@nanomug, that again goes with my theory about how rich kids generally do not turn out well or do as well as their parents did. Why should they try or work harder??? In their minds, all those assets will be theirs and so they can skate through life on easy street. Big mistake, but happens all the timeā¦