Study: Controlling parents have maladaptive perfectionist kids

Common sense suggests that being too critical or overbearing is not a great way to parent. Now science can back that up.

In a five-year study of primary school children in Singapore, researchers found that children with controlling parents are more likely to be overly critical of themselves, a problem that increases with age. Being too hard on themselves also had long-term consequences: Children with high or rising levels of self-criticalness reported more symptoms of depression or anxiety.

“We found that parental intrusiveness was one of the major factors that predicted increased self-criticalness in children over the years,” said Ryan Hong, the lead researcher on the study and an assistant professor at the National University of Singapore.

Also, look at these kids. They are bored to death… And they have water bottles strapped to their necks. Haven’t seen this here… :smile:

Educators always blame parents for their inability to inspire. In Chinese culture, the responsibility of the parent is to ensure their children go to schools, teachers are responsible to inspire the students to learn. Students are responsible to do their homework timely.

Have you considered is a NUS requirement for the child to have a water bottle?

Please note that the study is done by an educator!!!

So every Singapore kid has a water bottle strapped to their necks? :smile:

The Singaporean government is the world’s biggest parent.

I have been long time fan for Singapore math curriculum(workbooks and so on).
I generally try not to control my kids except forcing them to work on challenging problems in singapore math books.
After looking at this photo, i guess i should revisit my teaching style.

Do you supplement your kids’ math curriculum with SG workbooks? How does it work?

My understanding is that Singaporian life is pretty strict and draconian.

A member of my staff grew up in Japan and describes similar strictness/perfectionism in the schooling she had there. It was made worse for her because she is only half Japanese and was ostracized for it. (hafu)

She is a great worker. I don’t ever have to worry about her getting things done accurately and timely. However, she has some of the emotional issues that might be extrapolated from the article at hand. They erupt every once in a while and create a great deal of stress for me and others when they do. She’s packed up her office and stormed out on more than one occasion over a perceived criticism.

She has been labeled as “oversensitive” by my two superiors. I only wish I had followed the advice of one of them the first time this happened when he told me that, “if she cries, she’s fired.” I wish I had taken that opportunity to act when she cried. We’d be better off today if I had.

Like I said, she’s good. But the occasional emotional meltdown makes her someone I’d rather not have around. A mediocre replacement that was emotionally stable would be a better choice.

An anecdote to generalize two very different nationality?

No. An anecdote to show that what the article says about strict parenting may be true.

My impression of Singapore is that it’s about the only place where an elitist government still works. Its prime minster impressed the hell out of me by showing his old c++ code solving sudoku puzzles. I honestly don’t know any other heads of nations who can code.

Not that coding is hard to do. But it’s something outside of lee’s profession and yet he has the curiosity and aptitude to learn it on the fly. I wish our own leaders are like that.

My favorite workbooks are

However, after US curriculum switched to Common core (I really really hate common core math curriculum…), we switched to below just to be better aligned with Common core. I may switch back to above series (or work on both).

Regarding effectiveness, I don’t have good data to compare against.
However, those workbooks have interesting yet challenging problems. I personally really like these books.
I once bought Math Olympiad workbook for my kid and it was much easier than SM books.
Honestly, the problems look more like English problems than math problems.
The concept and problem solving skills they required were not that deep.

I never encourage my kids to get ahead of school curriculum. However, I emphasize in-depth practice and taking challenges. SM workbooks are good for those practices.

After 6th grade, we switched to “Art of Problem Solving” series to get prepared for AMC and mathcount, though.
These series are decently good and cover math competitions well.

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