This is Your Life in Silicon Valley

https://medium.com/@subes01/this-is-your-life-in-silicon-valley-933091235095#.cjueerhad

You wake up at 6:30am after an Ambien-induced sleep. It’s Friday. Last night at The Rosewood was pretty intense — you had to check out Madera and see if there is any truth to the long running Silicon Valley rumors. You were disappointed, but at least you did get to see a few GPs from prominent VC firms at the bar. Did they notice you? Did you make eye contact? You remind yourself they are not real celebrities — only well known in a 15-mile radius to the Techcrunch-reading crowd.

Your non-English-speaking nanny shows up at 7:30am on the nose. You are paying her $24/hour and entrusting her (and Daniel the Tiger) with raising your child. You tell yourself that it’s ok for now — when he’s old enough he’ll (someday) be in public school in the Palo Alto school district.

You commit to being a better parent this weekend and spending more quality time with him as you browse through the latest headlines on Flipboard. You recently realized he may not be the next Mark Zuckerberg after all — still you send him to a music school even though he’s only 3. You swear he’s a genius because he can say a few 4-syllable words and can clap perfectly to the beat of “Call me Maybe”. He’s special. He is destined for greatness and you’ll make sure he achieves every ounce of it. After all, both of you are so smart and accomplished.

And this is the “long running Silicon Valley rumor”…

“when he’s old enough he’ll (someday) be in public school in the Palo Alto school district.”

Amen…

“Your spouse hurriedly gets ready for work — you are a two income family and you have to be one for now. The spreadsheet shows that with only three more years’ savings, you can finally afford that 2 bedroom condo in San Bruno. So what if the weather is shitty 340 days out of the year? At least you’ll be homeowner in the Bay Area — and nothing says you’ve “made it” like being able to afford a down payment. Besides, San Bruno is “up and coming” — and Youtube has an office there.”

Hey, San Bruno is not that bad!

Wow, that is crazy, yet true stuff in the Bay (not only SV)… Hey, I wake up 6am to get on that wheel everyday…

You guys are working in the wrong place.

Hey, it’s capitalism! What do you expect? You grab all you can, while you can, and hopefully it is more than enough at the end of the day.

Where is nobility?

Long gone…when wife’s hairstylist charges you $300+ for a cut…OUCH!!!

How true is this really? A business development director who doesn’t know what that means, or what his options mean?

What he meant is those high sounding appointment is BS, no experience, no expertise.

I’ve always wondered exactly what “business development” does. I don’t get how it’s different from sales or marketing. Other than it’s the startup name for it. It cracks me up how startups all jump on the same bandwagon trends. We know at least 75% of startups fail. Maybe they should be a little more innovative in how they setup the company. Changing the name of HR to Employee Success isn’t going to radically change the course of the company. It sounds cooler though.

Do startups use the word “headcount”? It always strikes me as a very cold word, like counting cattle or something.

On the other hand ninjas and gurus are sooooo lame now.

Heard of?
Chief Culture Officer.
Chief Innovation Officer.
Chief Knowledge Officer.

1 Like

How about “Director of First Impressions”?

You don’t like HR? How about “People Operations Manager”?

Also “Chief Fun Officer”.

Chief growth officer is one I saw. The poor guy had no idea what he was doing or should be doing.