For our retired mailman
After 30 years working for the Post Office, and walking the same route, the Postie finally decides to retire.
At the first house; on his last day, the whole family is out on the driveway waiting for him.
When he arrives, he hands the husband his mail, and the wife hands the Postie a cake; decorated with his name on it, and the kids hand him a retirement card which has $100.00 bill in it.
Delighted and wishing he’d brought a cart with him, the Postie stops at the second house.
The wife is standing there with a gift and a card for him, and explains the kids had to be in school, and her husband had an important meeting, but they all wished him a Happy Retirement.
The wife gives him the gift and card, hugs him tightly and plants a peck on his cheek for good measure.
Wow! this is gonna be one helluva good day he thinks.
Arriving at the third house, he finds nobody around.
He goes to the front door, knocks and announces to the lady who answered the door in a nightie, that this is his last day.
She grabs him by the wrist, drags him upstairs and screws his brains out for a whole hour.
After sharing a shower, she invites him downstairs for breakfast.
Enjoying a two eggs and bacon breakfast and drinking is second cup of coffee, he notices a dollar bill under the saucer.
What’s this? he asks.
The wife smiles and tells him the following:
"Last night I told my husband that tomorrow would be your last day, and I explained that I didn’t know what I should do, as I hadn’t bought a gift."
My husband answered,
“Oh, Fuck Him, give him a Dollar!!!”
"…and the breakfast was my idea.