Design Tech High School

Certifications are not degrees. Many firms have those.

Does it count Nano Degree from Udacity? Designed with Google on Android development.

Also what about Coursera offering with UIUC: Granted it is from UIUC and professors are from there, but users are taking on Coursera platform.

Funny in blog, words can be interpreted out of context.

Sounds like a normal marriage to me. :grinning:

Certifications are not degrees. Many firms have those.

Yes. And many degrees have as little value as certifications in the broader sense. :smirk:

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I don’t know man… Is it normal for the breadwinner to drag one’s feet on buying a house when it means having to pay more, up to twice more, for a house in the long run? Is it normal for someone to want to move back to where they came from, to ignore the wife’s offers to go ahead and move because they feel like taking a new job, then sound surprised when she brings it up again a year later as if she’d never made the offer in the first place? Something’s seriously wrong here.

Yep. Still sounds like a normal marriage to me.

I ought to know, I’m on number two. :grinning:

Wait, let me check with my spouse. This is number three for her. :grin:

Or, better yet, I’ll check with our COO on Monday. He’s only a year older than I am and he’s on number four. :joy:

Ok, well, if this is normal, I guarantee you there will be only one. How long it lasts, I don’t know, but why go into another one if it’s destined for financial failure as well? You might as well be on your own.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”

How about buying rentals? Buying two $500K rentals instead of buying one $1M primary home. Location is no longer a straitjacket constraint. There is no rule saying you have to own your home before becoming a landlord.

Because you don’t want to grow old alone? :confused:

“But there is something worse. To be all alone in a crowd.” (Babylon 5)

I need my own money. This is the problem. If I were the breadwinner and my spouse were dragging his/her feet, I’d have bought something right now simply by virtue of it being my job to pay it off. (Of course, at this point, my husband may very well have tossed that job on my lap anyways if he isn’t interested in buying a house himself.)

I know we talked about it a long time ago, but my hope had been to be self-employed/sole-proprietor and have my retirement account buy a house and we rent it but you made it clear that it can’t be rented back to ourselves or family (which also means I can’t rent a house to my son and his roomies when he goes to college).

So I think my choices are:

  1. Wait to inherit money (could take up to 20 years-my parents are in good health)
  2. Work my butt off in the measly 9-2:30pm I have between kid dropoffs/pickups and try to build up a downpayment. Which seems impossible, but is not necessarily actually impossible if I had a good business idea.
  3. Go back to work full time in tech and hire a nanny. (You know, I’m not a feminist, but boy, does that statistic irk me about career women ending up with two full-time jobs–the office one plus the mom/housewife one.)
  4. Win the lottery. (Tried that though, and it seemed clear God wasn’t going to grant me the jackpot, so I’ve stopped.)


I don’t get the his money vs your money part. Husband and wife are equal partners, and state laws say as much.

Anyway, the rental doesn’t have to be in RBA. That’s the liberating part. It can be in far away places like Fairfield or Stockton. I have a rental in Stockton and it’s doing pretty well. Price point is a lot lower than here.

Just a thought.

Politely disagree manch.

They CAN be equal partners in joint finances. But the law doesn’t require it.

Differences over money is the biggest killer of marriages. It’s really bad when one is a spender and one is a saver; Where one is frugal and one a spendthrift.

In my first public sector job, I had this colleague who was two years from retirement. He’d saved his whole life for it and maxed out his retirement contributions for years to get there. His wife was a spender. She had never saved a dime.

Well, you can guess what happened. She walked, filed for divorce and ending up with half his pension (QDRO) before he hit his retirement date. He ended up working another five years. She ended up retiring off of his hard fought retirement savings.

What state law, really not by statute but more by case law, says is that if the contract is broken (the marriage fails) the debts and assets will be split equally between the parties. If the state has to make the division. However, the parties are free to come to any division of property that they both agree to.

Throw children into this mix, custody and child support, etc., and you get the muddling that we hear so much about.

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Wait. Wait. elt1 is calling any housing in the BA “expensive”? This must be a first! :laughing:

And here I thought it was all relative. Next up, mediaguru will be rejoining us on the forum.


Maybe legally, but we’re not wanting the same things. Could I really sign by myself on a mortgage that is being backed by his job? Seems like

  1. His signature should be required–why would any sane bank give the non-working party a mortgage without the working party’s guarantee?
  2. He should be able to cancel the transaction–at the least, he should be able to tell his HR not to answer calls from the mortgage company trying to verify paychecks.
  3. Actually, i don’t have access to his paycheck stubs either without his help–they don’t come in the mail with a check anymore…

But could I sign with mutual savings and only my job? Seems like I should be able to do that.

Also, the way our housing search went–because his parents were helping with the downpayment–all three of them had full veto power. If the parents didn’t like a house, they could veto by not giving us the offered help. If he didn’t like a house, he would simply tell them, and they would not help. I did most of the legwork and research, they had full veto power. Obviously, I have no intention of continuing to search under these circumstances, but no, I don’t feel like an equal partner in this housing search.

Also, from what my mother has said, inheritances don’t have to be shared. I didn’t quite understand how this would work in this state, but she implied that when she dies, I should not put his name on the account. Her argument is that if I put his name on it, then when I die it becomes his. If he remarries and dies, the money goes to his second wife. But if I don’t put his name on it, the money goes to my children (aka her grandchildren). She has a very emotional attachment to both her money and things and for sure she wants the money in the grandchildren’s hands, not some random woman she never met and maybe doesn’t like.

I have a friend who did exactly that. She started with buying a condo in Milpitas in 2011 and then sold it and did a 1031 exchange for a house in west San Jose(THE CITY) last year. She does not want to move from Cupertino until her children graduate from high school.

I will sell you a house in Modesto for $120k. .good cash flow and a great way to get started on your own. .Get your parents to cosign…FHA loan, can get in for $5k…There are opportunities everywhere…


Thank you for the offer, elt1… That’s sweet of you, but that’s not really what I’m looking for.

My goal is to buy a primary home so that

  1. I have the freedom to modify or renovate without concern over a landlord disapproving or kicking us out
  2. So that any renovations or improvements are not lost money
  3. To have control over the servicemen who come to our home
  4. To be able to have a garden/landscaping, swingset or treehouse, pets, solar panels, etc.
  5. To have emotional, friend, and job stability and be able to put down roots.
  6. To save towards retirement and have financial stability.

Buying a rental elsewhere is really more about investing and #6, but doesn’t help with social and homemaking (#1-5). (I would consider flipping houses, though, for a couple of years, if it meant paying off the final house sooner with the backup plan of renting it temporarily if I couldn’t make a profit at that time on the flip.)

Also, my parents will never cosign on anything for me, and in all honesty, thank God for that!!! They are of the “it’s your bed to make because you have to lie in it” philosophy, but because of that, they also don’t tell us what to do with our money or how to live. When parents help with finances, it always comes with strings attached, and that control of an adult child’s finances and spending is very unhealthy, especially when it is an upperclass parent controlling a middle or lower class child’s spending choices. This is something Chapters 5/6 of the Millionaire Next Door go over in detail, and boy did they get it right!!! Financially independent adults do better at earning money, saving money and making financial decisions that are appropriate for their earnings.